Trusting yourself is not an innate ability; it is a skill that must be developed and refined over years.

Growing in self-trust involves building competence in your desired area, and building competence looks like succeeding in the goals you set for yourself. So, how do you achieve this?

Start out by choosing an area where you're failing and write out a measurable goal. Then, create a plan by breaking this goal down into smaller objectives. For example, if you want to exercise more, the plan could be as follows:

• Exercise 1/week for a quarter (3 months).
• Up the amount to 2/week for the next quarter.
• Continue in this fashion until the desired n/week is attained.

Here is another example: Let's say you want to improve your coding skills. A possible plan could be:

• Find an interesting OSS project.
• Use the software and chat with the community.
• Find ways to contribute to the code base (documentation, PR's etc.).

Start small. I spent a lot of time disappointed in myself for not completing goals because I bit off more than I could chew. Don't be like me: start small, work hard, and surprise yourself :)

Make daily progress toward your goals. Over the years, I've learned that investing effort today and tomorrow is better than exerting twice as much effort tomorrow. If you can work twice as hard tomorrow, why not start today? Make each day count and remember that you can never make up for a lost day.

Don't lie or make excuses. You're in control of what you do, so if you're after change, you've got to lead the charge. Any sort of backsliding you experience is likely your own fault, but don't let this truth get you down; always speak life into yourself then use that positive reinforce to move forward. Don't make excuses but always stay positive.

Have courage. A second-order effect of building self-trust and confidence through competence is that you'll find yourself surrounded by individuals who are even more skilled than you. This exposure brings the realization that everyone is faking it to some extent. First forgive yourself for not doing your best then be brave. Respect, but don't idolize, those who seem further along in their journey. Life is a race that only finishes when the clock runs out, it has no finish line.

Make friends. You'll need people who are willing to motivate you when the going gets tough, so find friends or a community that you resonate with and can seek guidance from. Man wasn't made to be alone, you included.

Count your blessings. Maybe you aren't where you want to be, but as long as you're better than you used to be, you're ok. Aim to be excellent, but don't drive yourself to an early grave or construct a mental prison. Go outside, take a deep breath, smell the roses, and maybe look up once in a while.